just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
