He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
