it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
