when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
