YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative