After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why did my mother make you get naked?