Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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