Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
