The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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