I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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