Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He better not be in your backpack
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
