It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
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Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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