I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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