My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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