Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
