these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize