She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
