You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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