i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
