found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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