I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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