would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
