so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
