Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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