no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
