I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
