My first STD was from a foam party
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
