they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
