last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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