YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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