just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
