i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
