remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize