The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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