im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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