I heard we made out
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
