I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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