sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize