You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
