Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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