Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
