filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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