If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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