You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
