Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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