Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
