Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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