Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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