Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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