we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
