That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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