Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize