I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
