It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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