my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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