JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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