just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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