this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
