i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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