Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
