I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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