It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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