It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
