i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
