I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
